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Dear Dr. Hortfreud, I found an old newspaper clipping..

Dear Dr. Hortfreud,

I need your help!

I found a yellowed newspaper clipping stuck in the pages of an old gardening book I bought last week, and it has sent me straight down a rabbit hole where the gardening advice is always curious and the people are interesting.

I am blaming Hortense for giving me a little push, or perhaps it was a giant shove down this particular rabbit hole, the likes of